


wilting

by MXXNTAEIL



Series: Road to Abandon, Saved by Luck [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxious Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Mentioned Dong Sicheng | WinWin, Some Fluff, Some Plot, The whole shabang, awkward touches, its whatever, love at first night kinda vibes, lowkey angsty, sorry it’s trash, sorry nctzens, they met at a club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 13:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MXXNTAEIL/pseuds/MXXNTAEIL
Summary: Yuta had left some part of himself behind at the bar that night when he took Taeyong’s hand without a second thought. Although, he didn’t mind when Taeyong seemed to fill up all the missing parts the morning after.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Lee Taeyong/Nakamoto Yuta
Series: Road to Abandon, Saved by Luck [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538287
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	wilting

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so i wrote this a long time ago (around the time of the original version of liquid sun) and i just?? never finished it?? but i loved the concept of it so i didn’t want to let it go to waste so here it is! hope you enjoy :)

everything is hazy, from the memories in the past to the future ahead. brain slowed from the consistent tap of stinging alcohol of back-to-back shot glasses, a heavy feeling surfaced in the muddy waters of overflowing emotion. doubt trickled over the wall of pride and into the bloodstream of thick crimson. running through the veins was a new wave of untamed guilt and parasitical discouragement spreading through him head to toe, overtaking the once boastful man and replacing it with a hollow shell of self-conscious thoughts.

his eyesight shifted from the long line of dolled up bodies in silk and satin, velvet draping off milky shoulders, diamonds engraved into bands on thin wrist, veins a haughty decoration on toned and defined muscles, brown eyes colored grey and icy blue to mask the fear and soft desperation; to the warmly dressed newcomers, mink collars situated on their collarbones or hanging loosely on their elbows, oversized faux cow-leather coats costing a fortune to most but merely out of pocket change for them. 

he felt out of place, the only one not enjoying himself, the only one sipping excitement and bliss from a crystal glass. warm, natural brown eyes glazed over in a deathly quiet reminder of his loss, though it seemed to scream at everyone else to stay away from him to avoid rejection.

why was he here again?

murmurs of toxic letters floating into the open air, clogging the atmosphere with suffocating warmth. bodies shuffled to the low bass resonating through the room filled to the brim, but the notes didn't reach his ears. static clung to his eardrums and lined his brain to keep from creating sensible thoughts, from allowing him to think straight, from allowing him to realize what's going on.

hands gripped at his pockets and words dripped steadily into his ear, but he couldn't understand the language of empty promises and lustful persuasion. he read the sentences flowing from their pink lips, and he refused to process them. muddy brown eyes drifted across their features, watching their soft skin move under the cobalt blue spotlights. gauzy cloth gripped their arms and chest, running down the spine and into torn jeans that hugged their legs beautifully.

anyone else could please this beautiful specimen, but why would they choose him? the isolated boy at the bar with his feelings mixed up and at risk for serious damage? his brain was confused and upset, but his sensitive heart shuddered at the thought at one last chance of _love_.

"i'm taeyong."

spilling from their ruddy pink lips was a name of the gods. he felt taeyong's hands grip at his pockets tighter, the skin underneath laughing with crave and unease. his lungs grew heavy with anticipation, shallow breaths fanned against taeyong's neck as the boy leaned down to catechize him in a chilling whisper.

"what's your name?"

"yuta." his disoriented mind let the name fall past the chapped lips without a single thought, alarms should've went off but they didn't, and instead his body felt a ripple of intrigue wander through it.

"how old are you?"

for a moment, yuta couldn't respond. he hadn't been asked such a simple inquiry in quite a while. moons seemed to pass between the struggling boy and the patiently waiting, heavenly creature with his hands dug deep into yuta's pockets. "i'm twenty-three." taeyong closed his contact-covered eyes, the emerald irises disappearing behind dark lashes and sparkly pink skin.

taeyong pulled yuta closer by his pockets and their clothed chests grazed against one another. the rest of the room melted together in a colorful mural of dripping paint, the excitement and bliss of yuta's toxic drink rising to his head. the new feelings coaxed away the static, and the fuzzy fervor slipped down his throat and felt into his parched mouth. it slipped past his chapped lips, numbing the pale pink flesh and coating it in an invisible balm. yuta's body heated up significantly when the gauzy cloth rubbed against his tanned skin, taeyong reached over his shoulder and sipped the rest of his alcohol.

"place a few bills on the counter and let's get going."

yuta couldn't respond as his vision blurred, the rest of the night floating past him. his fingers feeling numb, his body not responding to any touches; everything happened far too quickly.

and he didn't wake up alone.

silk and satin, chilled velvet warming under his still body. unfamiliar surroundings coated in white sunlight dancing across every surface it could touch, shadows were protecting the places the playful rays could not possibly reach. yuta was bathed in natural light that radiated a golden sheen over his soft features.

feathery brown hair splayed across the untainted sheets, muddy brown irises opening to faint sounds. he turned his head, ignoring the sudden flash of pain plaguing his eyes and brain, and watched the light under the bathroom door switch out. the white wooden door opened soundlessly, hot air engulfing the room slowly, and a figure stepped into the bedroom.

"yuta? are you up?" taeyong asked tentatively, carding a hand of long, spindly fingers through crimson hair. a spike of pain struck the back of the waking boy's neck as he nodded, irises disappearing behind dark lashes and tanned skin. the wall of pride inside him was now standing pathetically and blighted heavily after yesterday's isolation. yuta wished he could evanesce quickly from taeyong's luxurious home and into the safety of his own.

he listened to the light footsteps and droplets of water creating a trail behind taeyong as he walked over to the bedside. cold fingertips drifted over yuta's warm cheek, and his eyes fluttered open to see how the other's toweled frame weighed down the edge of the bed slightly, all the while maintaining unwavering eye-contact.

his body felt unnaturally soft and untouched, like he was filled with cotton clouds instead of guilt and resentment as he should be feeling. had they even gone far, farther than his expectations of his blurred memories and hazy sightseeing from yesterday's moments of bliss? did the tapping of back-to-back shots catch up to him in the heat of the moment, and they had to stop because of sudden sickness? did yuta end up hunching over taeyong's porcelain toilet bowl, spilling his emotions and toxicity into it before taeyong lied him down to rest?

"what happened?"

"what did you want to happen?" taeyong responded calmly, avoiding the fearful question, and leaned over the other's body. the sunlight shone on his milky skin, and taeyong looked just as much as an angel as yuta had seen last night. he was stunning, and the tanned boy grew uncomfortable as the question lingered in the air for what had seemed like hours.

"i-"

"i was joking, yuta," he smiled, healthy pink lips tightening into a smile made of honey and maple leaves. warm brown eyes squinted, cinnamon swirls dotting around the dark pupil, shades of rich soil merging with the natural yellow light to cast a soft amber shade across them. "are you staying for breakfast? or would you like to take a shower and leave?" yuta contemplated the choice he received, fully thinking about it unlike he had last night, and didn't dive straight to the inevitable answer.

"breakfast," his voice was rough and dry, and resembled the equivalent to calloused fingertips for vocals, nothing that couldn't be fixed without a little soothing and care. something that yuta knew taeyong would take care of for him, and the corners of his chapped lips almost perked up at the thought.

"alright, go take a shower and i'll make you something to eat." yuta hardly noticed how taeyong avoided the question and watched as he hesitated for a moment. his wispy ruby locks were dripping with water, down the backs of his ears, across his collarbones, and down his chest. muddy irises ignored the sight and held soft eye-contact with the light-colored gemstones molded perfectly into taeyong's eyes.

taeyong leaned down carefully, slowly, water already falling against a tanned chest. lungs suddenly feeling heavy and useless as yuta felt fearful anticipation flood his bloodstream, and when taeyong leaned farther down and their chest glided the slightest bit against each other, yuta's eyes were close to tearing up.

healthy pink lips, softer than any silk or satin or velvet, grazed pale and chapped flesh in an experimental _thing_ similar to that of a kiss. it was hardly a peck, the warm flesh was pressed against wintry lips was more than that. but lesser than a kiss, because it left as soon as it came.

"sorry." taeyong sniffed as he straightened up, trying to avoid the uncomfortable quiet arising in the warm room.

"don't be." gem-like irises shot down to meet muddy eyes filled with expectancy and covet for another. a dulcet grin showing his teeth and genuine affection for the other as it radiated from his body in undulated waves. chapped lips were met with another _thing_, and yuta melted into the velvety ivory sheets. 

his crimson hair evanesced behind the white-painted wooden door as he left. the brown-haired boy already missed the warmth through the sheets against his thighs when taeyong sat on the bed beside them, but he closed his eyes to treasure the feeling of care sparkling through the layers of his skin. 

soon, he did take a shower, a long one at that. but he struggled to find clothes because he was unsure if he was allowed to wear taeyong's. his warm hand was grasping the golden knob of the closet door, and he stared past it to the pale gray walls. a stream of water flowed steadily down his arm unbothered, but yuta wiped it away with the navy towel around his waist.

"t-taeyong?" he called out unsure of whether the other would come to his aid, and yuta hoped so since he was fighting a horrible internal battle of whether he could infiltrate taeyong's undoubtedly costly closet. stringy brown locks fell over his muddy brown eyes as he stared down at the wooden floor, uncertainty trickled in a thick syrup through his veins and it clogged up the system. relief couldn't find its way through it, anxiety slipping past it instead. the vehement and distressing emotion giggling the entire way up to his brain, wafting through his headspace and hugging his heart with a suffocating grip.

"yeah?" cold water dripped into him with a rhythmic tap, flooding the anxiety and let it wither away to mere crumbs. reassurance filtered in with the droplets and engulfed him, and yuta worshiped it.

"can i," yuta paused, his breathing slowed as he felt taeyong walk behind him, the presence of the older behind him made him shiver, "wear your clothes?" he watched a milky white arm appear on his left, long spindly fingers encasing yuta's around the golden doorknob.

"of course."

the closet door was opened and taeyong put his right arm around yuta to switch on the overhead light. the cotton cloth of his shirt pressed against yuta's back making a ripple of mild infatuation fuel the flames of heated adoration running through him.

the warmth behind the brown-haired boy disappeared, chilly air hugging him instead as a reminder that taeyong stepped away. yuta turned his head to the left, not quite facing backward, but enough to enable sight of the happenings behind him. taeyong stood merely a foot away staring down at his hands, only looking up to meet the muddy brown eyes gazing endearingly with covet for something. whether it be the brush of his hands against his shoulder blades, or the simple twiddle of a strand of hair between his fingertips.

whatever he could get, yuta wanted it.

"i'll leave you to get dressed."

yuta watched him leave, a strike of pain flashing behind his eyes and jabbing at his heart. his lungs felt heavy and they sat uncomfortably in his chest, he took a shuddering breath to lighten them, but there was no avail.

with great uncertainty clouding his headspace, he walked into the lit closet. he was right, terribly right, everything looked far too costly for any normal everyday person to own. sure, some would indulge in themselves for perhaps one silk pin-striped blouse, or the designer ripped jeans; but this was certainly a wonder to his glazed brown eyes.

for a moment, he was caught in a light shade of torpor running plush hands through his hair, calming down his brain from the slight shock. yuta came to with a rush and a thought of dismissal, to pick whatever he desired. and, albeit cautiously, he decided on doing so.

a knitted sweater with spaces between the black ropes to show the slightest bits of skin, a black polyester tank top, and black _leggings_. he had never tried those before and they didn't seem as expensive as the rest of the closet; yuta took his own words and definitely indulged in himself with prudence. taeyong wouldn't mind, right? yuta shakily dressed himself, the tremble in his movements arose out of thin air, apprehension filtered into his consciousness. 

yuta flipped off the light-switch, shadows flooded the room, and he walked out into the bedroom. warm sunlight still bathed the decor in a golden sheen, prancing around the objects with joyous giggles and airy movements, and yuta nearly smiled. muddy brown eyes taking one more survey of the room before holding the navy towel up to his hair, drying the damp locks, and shutting the bedroom door behind him. 

gray walls, dark wood floors, white accents, plastic flowers in stunning vases; taeyong was excruciatingly neat and orderly. the male hesitated, clearing his throat quietly, and walked farther down the hallway until he was met with a staircase, a long, spindly, spiral staircase with silver-painted wood railings. the wood was undoubtedly cold beneath his feet, but yuta didn't care as he stepped downstairs without a sound. "tae--" he paused before there was a tiny clash far down the steps, perhaps in the kitchen, "--taeyong?" 

"yes, yuta?" he heard the crimson-haired boy's muffled voice echo through the quiet hallways. taeyong's home was gorgeously simple and almost strikingly unattractive at how organized and clean it was; it looked furnished, but not _lived _in. the boy felt confined in a small square in the middle of a hallway, he was afraid to move as though he would cause an earthquake at the very moment and shatter every glossy crystal and vase there was in this home.

the boy stepped forward and adjusted the collar of the knitted sweater and pulled the black ropes over his hands so they fell over his fingertips. yuta sniffed and rubbed the tip of his nose with the sweater sleeve, daring to walk farther into the house, "where are you?" he heard the hiss of a flame and the clang of metal for a moment before all of the sounds died down, only a faint sizzle in the background.

the pattering of feet caught yuta's gaze from falling directly to the ground, and he looked up to see a cotton shirt, crimson hair, and a dazzling smile. the otherworldly specimen stared at yuta with pools of warm brown, cinnamon swirls, and shades of rich soil, "right here." the two words sent a flood of shimmering heat through yuta's body.

muddy brown irises looked from the left to the right twice, and yuta breathed out deeply in front of the patiently waiting taeyong. he held out his arms slightly, the black sweater slipping farther down his shoulders and hands, "can you?"

"yeah, sure."

though all yuta was waiting for was a simple hug, perhaps a kiss if he was lucky, but instead taeyong lifted him up and carried him to what he hoped was the kitchen. the navy towel in his hand was taken away, his chapped lips stolen by softer ones, and his heart beating rapidly at the quickness of the situation. but yuta loved it nevertheless.

admittedly, yuta thought of himself as _clingy_ for lack of a better word, and taeyong didn't seem to mind. he only fueled yuta's need for care and constant love and affection, and yuta swallowed it all up without question. he breathed out softly into taeyong's neck, wrapping his limbs around taeyong with slight worry about if the crimson-haired male could handle yuta's weight.

once again, slight anxiety snaked around yuta's heart and gave it a little squeeze. he knew taeyong had barely any brawn on him while yuta had his spent fair share of time working out. but even if yuta's weight was hard to carry, taeyong sure didn't show it as he made his way into the kitchen. he set yuta on the counter, the cold from the surface chilling his skin though the leggings and sweater threads.

taeyong disappeared with the navy towel and appeared only moments later with a maroon hairbrush, he walked over to yuta with the brush in one hand as he slowly took yuta's sweater-covered one with the other. it didn't take very long for the cinnamon-eyed man to have the other melting into his touch as he brushed out the knots in his drying hair. one hand of spindly fingers placed over yuta's tan cheek, thumb grazing over his chapped lips, and the other holding the brush firmly yet brushing the feathery brown hair softly.

"do you like this?" taeyong gave a little laugh at the mess of man before him snuggling into his touch, wearing his clothes, and enjoying everything taeyong offered him. a smile of honey and maple leaves decorating the unblemished face of the older as yuta nodded._ god_, he wanted to take care of yuta like this forever. but he couldn't. 

"do you want to eat breakfast soon?" yuta shook his head at first before opening his eyes for a fraction of a second, closing them swiftly, and nodding delicately. taeyong's grin never faltered as he leaned a bit closer, never stopping the brushing, pressing his thumb against the younger's bottom lip. "words, yuta."

"y-yeah."

"good," yuta wanted to pull taeyong's hands back and climb into his arms after taeyong pulled away, biting back a whine at the loss of touch. "i'm going to finish up breakfast soon, so go make yourself at home." the muddy-irises looked away from taeyong's endearing gaze as he nodded carefully, he would do anything taeyong asked at this point. yuta was too attached already.

and so yuta waited patiently like taeyong wanted him to. he wasted time exploring the dining room and living room nearby, everything was simple and orderly, fitting into a type of luxurious beach house similar to those in the movies. dark wood floors, gray walls, white accents; it all fit together almost perfectly, and they reminded yuta of someone that he couldn't figure out who.

the male heard taeyong call him back to the kitchen, and he nearly crashed into the beautiful specimen in the doorway. taeyong's hands gripped yuta's hips to steady them both, yuta's sweater-covered hands clutching the cotton of the other's shirt. the two were eye to eye, standing nearly at the same height, but yuta just a centimeter or two shorter. nonetheless, yuta felt smaller, weaker in taeyong's presence.

"can i--?"

"yeah."

taeyong leaned in for a small brush of the lips, far past the unsure _things_ they shared earlier, rather, a normal kiss. they both smiled a few moments into it, but never parting, until taeyong jumped away at a sudden thought. "i forgot to tell you," yuta stared up at him with sparkling eyes, taeyong nearly shied away from the undivided attention being handed to him just by a few words. they both knew yuta was holding onto whatever taeyong said, and they both loved it, "about what happened last night." yuta's smile faltered the slightest bit, regret filling his lungs until they felt they were about to burst. "but that can wait until after breakfast."

yuta waited, and surely, they talked after breakfast.

but they weren't going to sit around awkwardly like any other pair after a night shared in bliss and blurred memories.

the younger was curled into taeyong's chest, sitting between his legs on the couch in the living room, his hands already found purchase in the cotton shirt the other wore. taeyong held him close, one hand of spindly fingers held between the feathery strands of brown hair and touching his scalp, the other around yuta's body to hold him close.

neither of them wanted to start the inevitable conversation, their time together was dwindling.

"so," yuta was struggling to stay awake under the light scratch of taeyong's nails on his scalp, the comforting touches were sending him farther into his sleep-ridden headspace. but yuta sighed into the cotton shirt and willed his muddy eyes open again as taeyong spoke quietly, "we didn't do anything."

"good," the younger mumbled, curling into himself tighter as he felt the arm across his back adjust him into a more comfortable position for the both of them.

"you, i hope this isn't too embarrassing for you, cried to me," taeyong released an airy chuckle, chills tickling yuta's spine and fingertips. yuta wanted to whine, but he didn't want to seem annoying or needy. taeyong probably wouldn't like that, yuta thought endlessly as taeyong continued. "about your... breakup, because i think that's why you were at the bar."

taeyong felt yuta nod slightly into his cotton shirt, he removed his hand from the feathery brown hair, and yuta nearly fell backward into his touch to regain contact. albeit the older male didn't oppose the other's yearn for cosseting, after all the messy relationship explained to him seemed suffocating and he was glad yuta managed to escape it, but right now he wanted to look yuta in the eyes.

warm pools of brown, cinnamon swirls dotting around the pupil, shades of rich soil flaking the irises bore directly into the muddy brown gemstones looking up at him. taeyong nearly melted at the sight of the undivided attention just being handed to him like it was _nothing_ and he knew it shouldn't be like this. something was terribly wrong, no one had ever been so attentive towards him... or anything like that really.

"what happened?"

his heart faltered in it's steady thrumming, like something had kicked it and set it aflame for a moment before holding it close and never softening its hold. it was difficult to understand, taeyong was a stranger. but the younger never wanted to let him go, he was already too important to him and no one had ever treated yuta like this. _ever._ his headspace was blurred with thoughts of letting taeyong through the twisted knots gathering dusts, or to push him away and scream for the one that caused him this pain.

"my boyfriend had been cheating on me for months, and i knew because we went to japan a lot."

yuta could feel the layers of warmth radiating from taeyong, smothering him in their clutches and kissing his eyelids as he shut his eyes. a string of confusion drifted from the older's index fingertip as the digit twitched along his spine. the azure thread slithering through the feathery brown strands of his hair, and into his headspace to merge all of the muddled and confused letters to words. though, it didn't pause in it's journey once, and it continued with the strings and strands of lyrics for the melody of yuta's animation. soon, the azure strand slipped past the younger's chapped lips and filled his mouth with things to say.

"japan is where i come from," yuta paused as taeyong adjusted himself again, "and i knew something was up when he didn't want to spend time with me in osaka, but to explore on his own. he always came home later, and later," he cleared his throat as something bubbled up in it.

he listened to the slight murmur of taeyong to reassure that he was listening, reveling in the feeling of a vibration in the other's chest that spread a wave of warmth over yuta.

"even after we came back to korea, he wouldn't stop talking to someone over the phone instead of me, and i asked him who it was. he said it was just his 'friends from osaka' as if i would believe it."

"i don't get it."

"get what?"

"why he would tell you that he has friends in osaka when he probably doesn't speak japanese. right?"

"yeah, he's chinese and i know he doesn't speak any japanese. he wouldn't learn it for me, he never would."

taeyong stayed silent, and yuta wondered if he did anything wrong. fear flaring up in his chest, a sickening marble of anxiety rolling through his stomach and growing bigger by the second as it picked up the leftover traces of panic and buried nerves. his aversion to the excited murmurs of embedded voices he concealed ages ago rising up in a quick revolt to his guarding walls. _he needed to calm down_, his hands were shivering in _fear._

"and it didn't take me long to know who he was talking to--"

"what was his name?" taeyong interjected quietly, long and spindly fingers curling around yuta's thigh and arm, bringing the boy closer into his cotton shirt.

"my ex's?"

"yeah."

"sicheng."

yuta felt a chill, a genuine chill, run through his veins. cold water dripped steadily into his veins, freezing up the blood and lining his insides with impenetrable ice. yuta felt like he was suffocating without taeyong rubbing his thumb along the large patch of skin though the black sweater ropes, the firm grip on his thigh, and the quiet breaths fanning against his wavy brown locks. but taeyong had gone almost rigid, and the boy slowly let his arms fall down their placements around yuta.

"taeyo-"

"you... need to leave."

the freezing water _stopped_.

**Author's Note:**

> just a little reminder, the works that will be in this series are NOT COMPLETE and i had abandoned the work originally but still wanted to post the draft i left behind. that’s why it’s called Road to Abandon, Saved by Luck! ^^


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